I was told that the caravan would start at three, so being a punctual American I got there at 2:50. We ended up starting at 5:00. Galym and his friends were having a bit of a late start, which was understandable because they had been up late at Galym’s Betashar the night before. The betashar is one of the most important Kazakh ceremonies. At the Betashar, the bride enters her new husband’s home as his wife for the first time. The bride is veiled, with one end of the veil tied to the end of a dombra, the national instrument of Kazakhstan. A friend or relative of the groom who plays the dombra, and two of her future sisters-in-law then lead the bride into the house. Once in the house, the dombra player musically introduces the bride too her new relatives who leave some money on the floor in front of the bride to help the young couple get started. Besides introducing the young woman to her new family, the betashar is significant because it is traditionally the first night the bride spends with her husband.
Eventually everyone was ready and it was time for the caravan to begin. Galym and his bride got into a cousin’s SUV and the rest of us followed in various other cars. The first stop on our two-hour tour was the mosque, or meshit as we say in Kazakh. At the mosque, we all went inside sat down around a small boardroom table, and after a few minutes the Imam came in as well. He sat down and asked Galym and his bride if they were Muslim, whether they were getting married of their own free will, and then had them repeat the common Muslim statement of faith, “There is only one God but Allah, and Muhammad is His prophet.” Then the Imam turned to the witnesses. Galym’s friend and his wife’s friend were the two main witnesses, so the Imam’s attention and questions were directed at them, but it turned out we would all have a part to play. He asked them basically the same questions, minus the getting married part, and then he began passing around a small cup of water, and each of the “important” guests, myself included believe it or not, took a small sip. Galym and his bride then signed their name in the Imam’s book, there was a short prayer, and just like that Galym was married. It took less than 20 minutes! Granted they were not technically/legally married, for that they still would need to go down to the hall of records in a few days and fill out some government documents, but as far as Kazakh culture and their families were concerned, they were fully married.
After the trip to the Mosque, the real caravan began with the restaurant and wedding party as our final destination. We made four stops, a small veterans’ monument near the Mosque, the city square, the Korkyt-Ata monument, and the city’s main WWII monument. At each stop we all got out of cars, made a couple of toasts, and took a lot of pictures. As it turned out, I for once, was the only one who remembered to bring my camera, so I turned out to be an impromptu wedding photographer in addition to the guy they hired to film the big day. My two favorite stops were Korkyt-Ata monument and the main WWII monument. They were my favorite for several reasons. First, I made or, at least attempted to make, a toast at the Korkyt-Ata monument, and they are also two of the most important landmarks in Kyzylorda. The WWII monument’s importance needs no explanation, but the Korkyt-Ata monument is also very important in local tradition and folklore. Korkyt-Ata was the creator of the traditional musical instrument known as the kobyc, but legend has it that he literally attempted to flee from death. Apparently, he never slept, in order to see Death’s approach. One day of course though, after many long years, he fell asleep, and at that point death found him and took him. The reason Korkyt-Ata is so important in our city is that he apparently died near the village Karmaksha, only three hours away from Kyzylorda by bus.
Anyway, after the caravan to the various locations around the city, we finally made it to the café. Fortunately, though the caravan took a little longer than originally scheduled, we got there before everyone had started eating. Of course, as it was a Kazakh wedding, even if they had started eating before, there still would still have been plenty of food. As it was, by the time the evening was over, my stomach was about to burst! The wedding party was really nice, and much better organized that one I had been to before. At this wedding, rather than have everyone stand up as a table and give toasts, we gave our toasts as a group. First, the grandparents gave their toasts, then the parents, then classmates, etc., until it was our turn, as Galym’s foreign friends, to give our toasts. This was nice because it made it easier to tell who was who and why they were at the wedding. Also, it kept the toasting at a manageable amount so that no one would end the night in danger of alcohol poisoning. Anyway, the other guests apparently really liked our Kazakh toasts, and while I would like to think they like our toasts because we were speaking good Kazakh, I would not be surprised if they were just showing appreciation for the attempt, or perhaps just enjoying it as one enjoys any spectacle or novelty.
We stayed for another hour or so after we made our toasts, we had to try the second main course after all, but finally we headed on home. It had been a rather long day, all in all I was doing some sort of celebrating for eleven hours, but I have to say that it was some of the most fun I have had in Kazakhstan. I was honored that my friend Galym invited me to take part in his special day. I had a great time not only in seeing a new part of Kazakh culture, but also in seeing one of my closest local friends become so happy. Also, I got some really nice pictures.
